People who are completely inappropriate in the office

We run through three of the workplace nightmares that some recruiters have had to put up with…

You get them in every workplace – the rogues, the inept, the disorganised and the plain crazy. Recruitment is no different, and here we ‘celebrate’ the not so good, the bad and the downright ugly in three tales of misadventure and some. These people clearly need to be named, but because we’re not nearly so mean as to do that we’ve changed their identities to protect the guilty!


1. Excitable Ed


You certainly can’t buy enthusiasm and Ed Jenkins’ was infectious across the entire office, but unfortunately to epidemic proportions! Whenever a vacancy arose he’d be the first to go for it, even if it did not relate to his specific department. “It’s mine!” he’d shout, almost hyperventilating with excitement.

Well, it goes without saying that his ebullient approach, although fun and endearing at the outset, soon began to grate around the office, especially when he tried to ‘help’ other recruiters do their jobs.

How did he find the time to dive headlong into everyone else’s business? By not doing his job properly, of course. The nervous ball of energy that was Ed may have been on the case when it came to pitching for every candidate that came up, but he wasn’t once he’d got them. So keen to place them and move on to the next, he left a war zone of incorrectly emailed CVs in his wake, including sending out resumés of candidates who had already been placed, and emailing jobseekers’ details to companies that weren’t recruiting.

If Ed could have bottled his enthusiasm, it would have been more a pick-me-up and less of a Molatov cocktail. Kaboom! There goes another recruitment agency’s reputation!


2. Placement Polly


Goodness knows why Polly Smith decided to become a recruitment consultant. It’s not that she wasn’t good at placing candidates. Quite the reverse, in fact – she was too good. This girl could sell oil to Abu Dhabi; that was her thing.

Given the right environment, she could have been raking in commission. But during her time at The Perfect Match, she ironically caused more new employee-employer ‘divorces’ than the mid-life crisis!

How does this make Polly too good? Simple, because she was exceptional at selling any candidate to an employer and vice versa, no matter how unsuitable either was to the other. Her placement rate was phenomenal, and The Perfect Match thought it had found the recruiter from heaven, until all hell broke loose in a torrent of freshly placed candidates either quitting or being released. So desperate was she to place people that she even encouraged them to ‘embellish’ their CVs.

But what made her particularly excruitiating to be around in the office was her crowing about her placement successes in front of the bosses, making everyone else feel inadequate and look none too clever. However, it wasn’t too long before Polly got the bird – although rumour has it she’s now strutting around like a flamingo in commission heaven in a senior sales position.


3. Light-fingered Lenny


There’s nothing worse than having a thief around the office. First the odd titbit goes missing from the fridge, then whole lunches. Next, money starts disappearing from wallets and everyone’s looking suspiciously at everyone else. Suddenly the morale of the entire team is under threat. This was what happened at Career Move, but it wasn’t just ‘stuff’ that started to go missing, recruiters suddenly noticed their candidates were being pilfered too! In fact, this was the first clue team member and super sleuth Jenna Hayes had to the identity of the kleptomaniac.

One morning, Jenna called one of her candidates who was due to go for an interview the following week, only to find that she had been to an interview two days earlier for another role, which had been arranged by her colleague Lenny Davies. She approached Lenny, who immediately apologised, saying he had come across the ideal role for the candidate and that he had meant to tell Jenna, and after all if she got the job wouldn’t it be great for everyone. Jenna gave Lenny the benefit of the doubt, until she saw another colleague having a go at him for doing the same thing. “Could it really be that Lenny was also connected to all the stuff that kept going missing around the office?” thought Jenna. And she was spot on!

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